I became involved in emergency service work because there is a need for
people to help others who are in trouble. However, at times there are calls to which I
respond that are difficult to talk about - even with the person I love and trust most in
the world.
PLEASE ACCEPT THAT.
At times there are experiences I suffer which hurt me very deeply, and I might
bring my suffering home. Sometimes my feelings bother me so much I can't talk about
them. Maybe it's because I don't want you to imagine what I've suffered, or maybe it's
because I'm afraid you won't fully understand the depth of my feelings. During these
times I might become moody or irritable, and I may not seem to care much about your
feelings or problems.
PLEASE ACCEPT THAT.
You love me for who and what I am. I choose to do what I do because it is
important to me and to those I help. Although it is sometimes very difficult and maybe
even dangerous, I love doing what I do, and I do it well. In short, I'm proud of what I am,
and I hope you are proud of me.
There are times though, when I feel I didn't do enough. Many people depend
upon me. There are also times I get frustrated and angry at my co-workers, myself, and
the victims of tragedy. There are times the horrors I have to deal with just overwhelm
me. That is when I have to sort things out by myself, or with others who were there with
me.
PLEASE ACCEPT THAT.
So please, if I have a really bad call and just can't talk, it isn't because I don't
love and care for you. It is not because I doubt your love and concern for me. I'm just
not ready to open up. When this happens, try to understand - accept the fact I'm hurting
- and I'll talk to you when I can.