Leadership in The Lord's Churches

Leadership in The Lord's Churches: Marks of True Leaders
by Dr. Lester Hutson

Chapter 6

True Leaders Are Able To Live In Harmony With The Majority Of The People

By Dr. Lester Hutson

I Corinthians 1:10

"Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

There's a great element of truth to the old saying, "You can please all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time." There'll always be somebody in even the best of churches with the best of leadership, who'll get out of step with the leadership. Sometimes they get back in step, and sometimes they don't. It has been my experience after three decades in the ministry that regardless of the size of the church, someone has something "stuck in his craw" against the pastor at almost any given time. It may be big or it may be little. It may be legitimate or it may be totally illegitimate, but it's almost always there. A guy who can't take the heat won't do well in the ministry or any other leadership position.

People get offended at what you do and what you don't do, at what you said and what you didn't say, at the manner in which you said it and even how long you took to say it. They're watching your every response to every incident. Your leadership is ever up to public scrutiny, and often it's impossible to explain why in detail that you chose the course of action you took. Quite often, people don't understand, and many of them are not very tolerant and willing to give the benefit of the doubt.

In spite of the most whole-hearted, Godly effort by good church leaders, there'll be some people who simply refuse peace and harmony. Paul said, "Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil," in II Timothy 4:14. Demas forsook him in II Timothy 4:10. The apostle John had to contend with Diotrephes in III John 9. If you lead, you'll have your enemies. Some will refuse reconciliation. Paul put it this way in , "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." Note well, "if it be possible," and "as much as lieth in you."

You're going to lose a few. Some will think the grass is greener in another church. Some will criticize your preaching or teaching. Some will get mad because you don't approve their practices. They'll think you are too narrow or too broad. You will never be able to do what some expect. If there were five of you, you couldn't meet their expectations. A few just will not like you for general principles. Regardless of how you conduct yourself, you're going to get some scorn and criticism, and a few are going to leave you. Some won't leave, but will just stay around waiting for a chance to strike you. You've got to treat these people right. You can't return evil for their evil. Peter counseled in I Peter 3:8-11:

"Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing; but contrariwise blessing: knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it."

And, you can't let a few who refuse peace and harmony stop you from doing the job of leading God's people. Nehemiah was rebuilding the great wall of Jerusalem. He had enemies too, who criticized him, tried to stop his work, and who tried to pick a fight with him. Nehemiah 6:1-4 records one such incident.

"Now it came to pass, when Sanballat, and Tobiah, and Geshem the Arabian, and the rest of our enemies, heard that I had builded the wall, and that there was no breach left therein; (though at that time I had not set up the doors upon the gates;) That Sanballat and Geshem sent unto me, saying, Come, let us meet together in some one of the villages in the plain of Ono. But they thought to do me mischief. And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down; why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you? Yet they sent unto me four times after this sort; and I answered after the same manner."

One of the worst things a church leader can do is allow someone to draw him into a contention. As sure as he does, folks in the church will begin to take sides, and no good will come out of it. Sometimes, it's unavoidable, but a good leader will minimize it as much as possible, deal with it as quickly as possible, and get it behind him. One thing he won't do is let it stop him in the work of God. Sometimes there'll be those with whom harmony is virtually impossible, but good church leaders will find a way to live in harmony with most of the church people. No church leader can overcome too much division of a very large percentage of the people for very long. Any pastor who can't learn to get along with the majority of the people will either leave soon or the people will leave. It's one or the other. He can rave and "froth at the mouth" all he wants to about the evil people, but one of the main jobs of every leader is to learn how to get along with the majority of the people in the church. That's exactly the call of Romans 12:18.

I Corinthians 1:10 says, "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." I Corinthians 3:3 says divided people out of harmony are not spiritual, but are "carnal." Jesus said, "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand," in Matthew 12:25. I've seen it repeatedly. A pastor goes to a new church. For a while, there's a "honeymoon." Then, there's a disagreement, and it's passed over, but not resolved. Criticism comes. The pastor strikes back, often from the pulpit. The offended person finds an ally. A second and third incident occurs; the area of fermentation broadens. Morale plummets. More people become aware, and get involved. The pastor is more and more reacting to the negativism of the people, and justifying his stands and actions. The people in turn become more and more reactionary to the pastor, and feel more and more just in their criticism of him. Before long, neither side really knows what the real causes of the alienation are. Both sides just know they're in constant conflict, and that they're liking each other less and less with every passing week. In most cases for the pastor, countdown for ejection has already begun. By the way, this poor leadership by the pastor carries over and makes it hard on the next pastor. Many hurts, suspicions, and inhibitions remain in the people, all of which the next pastor must face. That's one of the reasons I said that the current condition of a church, for the better or the worse, is not always the product of its current leadership. If a church leader, especially a pastor, is to survive, let alone lead people to prosperity in the Lord, he must learn to get along with the majority of the people.

Forgiveness

Essential to getting along with people is forgiveness. I'm talking about true, genuine, real forgiveness, not the "nasty nice" smear-on, surface variety where the formal letter of the law has been met, but where all parties concerned know the hearts are not truly together. I'm talking about the genuine forgiveness of the Bible where issues are resolved, not just swept "under the rug." Forgiveness is the only way to get over the differences, offenses, and disappointments which are sure to come. Without forgiveness alienation occurs and continues. Without forgiveness brethren draw back form each other, not together, and it can last for years to come. Every church leader is going to face conflicts with the people. Those conflicts can be the beginning of the end, or they can be resolved. Reconciliation and forgiveness determine which way it will be. Without forgiveness, there's first an alienation with this member, then another. Like a growing cancer, the alienation grows until at some point, the majority of the church is alienated, or gone. In either case, the church is hurting and prosperity is gone.

No wonder Ephesians 4:32 says, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

Colossians 3:12-13 pleads,

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye."

Forgiveness, folks. It's the eraser of spiritual hurts and offenses. It's the way to put things behind you that would otherwise fester and turn sore. It's the way church leaders can keep in harmony with the majority of the people.

Learning to get along with people, and the act of forgiving, doesn't mean you are in full agreement with the other person. It simply means a person doesn't have to be your enemy just because you don't see eye to eye on every point or detail.

Taking up an offence and making an issue out of it is what causes the division and drives away peace and harmony. It's that inability to forgive and get it "out of your craw" that causes the alienation, and often the following resentment, bitterness, and even hatred. Church leaders must learn to disagree agreeably. They must learn to tolerate some opinions that are not the same as their own. They don't have to compromise one single conviction, but they do have to give others a little room to see things a little differently. They must learn to tolerate weaknesses in others. People are going to make mistakes. They're going to say things they shouldn't. They're going to "drop the ball." They're going to stick their noses into things that aren't their business. If a church leader sees himself as the "sheriff" who must "make something out of it" every time a member fouls up, he won't be able to get along with anybody for very long.

Tolerance is forbearance or longsuffering. Successful church leaders have learned to "let some things fall." They don't take up every issue. Solomon advised,

"Also take no heed unto all words that are spoken; lest thou hear thy servant curse thee: For oftentimes also thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise hast cursed others," in Ecclesiastes 7:21-22.

Many jabs and injustices, they just let pass. Solomon wisely observed, "When a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him," in Proverbs 16:7.

Handling thorny and potentially explosive matters without offence and alienation of people requires lots of wisdom, but Solomon also said, "He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good," in Proverbs 16:20. Let every church leader take heed. Watch what you say and how you say it. Be wise enough not to push an issue too far at the wrong time. In Ecclesiastes 3, Solomon said there's a time and a place for everything, including, "a time to keep silence, and a time to speak," in verse 7. When you speak, Paul said, "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man," in Colossians 4:6.

Another word for it is "tact." Don't act like a "a bull in a china closet." Be careful with your words and your deeds.

Flexibility

Getting along with people requires being flexible. No one can be always so stiff, set in his way, and sure he's right on everything and get along with a church. Good leaders learn to "roll with the punches." They stay soft, pliable, and reasonable. They're pragmatic. They learn to discuss things and reason with people. They know the art of give and take. They never let anything get in their system, and become an impasse to them. They have convictions, but they've learned they can be true to their convictions, yet maintain lots of room for application of these convictions. They don't go into matters with their minds already fully made up. They're open.

Listening

They listen and watch. This tells them where others are, and how to avoid confrontations and offenses, and their resulting divisions. The ability to live peaceably with all men, especially your church people, is a great asset. It's a marked difference in many church leaders, and is another reason why some churches prosper while others don't.

"It Does Make a Difference What You Believe"

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Leadership in The Lord's Churches: Marks of True Leaders by Dr. Lester Hutson Chapter 6 True Leaders Are Able To Live In Harmony With The Majority Of The People By Dr. Lester Hutson I Corinthians 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." There's a great element of truth to the old saying, "You can please all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time." There'll always be somebody in even the best of churches with the best of leadership, who'll get out of step with the leadership. Sometimes they get back in step, and sometimes they don't. It has been my experience after three decades in the ministry that regardless of the size of the church, someone has something "stuck in his craw" against the pastor at almost any given time. It may be big or it may be little. It may be legitimate or it may be totally illegitimate, but it's almost always there. A guy who can't take the heat won't do well in the ministry or any other leadership position. People get offended at what you do and what you don't do, at what you said and what you didn't say, at the manner in which you said it and even how long you took to say it. They're watching your every response to every incident. Your leadership is ever up to public scrutiny, and often it's impossible to explain why in detail that you chose the course of action you took. Quite often, people don't understand, and many of them are not very tolerant and willing to give the benefit of the doubt. In spite of the most whole-hearted, Godly effort by good church leaders, there'll be some people who simply refuse peace and harmony. Paul said, "Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil," in II Timothy 4:14. Demas forsook him in II Timothy 4:10. The apostle John had to contend with Diotrephes in III John 9. If you lead, you'll have your enemies. Some will refuse reconciliation. Paul put it this way in , "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." Note well, "if it be possible," and "as much as lieth in you." You're going to lose a few. Some will think the grass is greener in another church. Some will criticize your preaching or teaching. Some will get mad because you don't approve their practices. They'll think you are too narrow or too broad. You will never be able to do what some expect. If there were five of you, you couldn't meet their expectations. A few just will not like you for general principles. Regardless of how you conduct yourself, you're going to get some scorn and criticism, and a few are going to leave you. Some won't leave, but will just stay around waiting for a chance to strike you. You've got to treat these people right. You can't return evil for their evil. Peter counseled in I Peter 3:8-11: "Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing; but contrariwise blessing: knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it." And, you can't let a few who refuse peace and harmony stop you from doing the job of leading God's people. Nehemiah was rebuilding the great wall of Jerusalem. He had enemies too, who criticized him, tried to stop his work, and who tried to pick a fight with him. Nehemiah 6:1-4 records one such incident. "Now it came to pass, when Sanballat, and Tobiah, and Geshem the Arabian, and the rest of our enemies, heard that I had builded the wall, and that there was no breach left therein; (though at that time I had not set up the doors upon the gates;) That Sanballat and Geshem sent unto me, saying, Come, let us meet together in some one of the villages in the plain of Ono. But they thought to do me mischief. And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down; why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you? Yet they sent unto me four times after this sort; and I answered after the same manner." One of the worst things a church leader can do is allow someone to draw him into a contention. As sure as he does, folks in the church will begin to take sides, and no good will come out of it. Sometimes, it's unavoidable, but a good leader will minimize it as much as possible, deal with it as quickly as possible, and get it behind him. One thing he won't do is let it stop him in the work of God. Sometimes there'll be those with whom harmony is virtually impossible, but good church leaders will find a way to live in harmony with most of the church people. No church leader can overcome too much division of a very large percentage of the people for very long. Any pastor who can't learn to get along with the majority of the people will either leave soon or the people will leave. It's one or the other. He can rave and "froth at the mouth" all he wants to about the evil people, but one of the main jobs of every leader is to learn how to get along with the majority of the people in the church. That's exactly the call of Romans 12:18. I Corinthians 1:10 says, "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment." I Corinthians 3:3 says divided people out of harmony are not spiritual, but are "carnal." Jesus said, "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand," in Matthew 12:25. I've seen it repeatedly. A pastor goes to a new church. For a while, there's a "honeymoon." Then, there's a disagreement, and it's passed over, but not resolved. Criticism comes. The pastor strikes back, often from the pulpit. The offended person finds an ally. A second and third incident occurs; the area of fermentation broadens. Morale plummets. More people become aware, and get involved. The pastor is more and more reacting to the negativism of the people, and justifying his stands and actions. The people in turn become more and more reactionary to the pastor, and feel more and more just in their criticism of him. Before long, neither side really knows what the real causes of the alienation are. Both sides just know they're in constant conflict, and that they're liking each other less and less with every passing week. In most cases for the pastor, countdown for ejection has already begun. By the way, this poor leadership by the pastor carries over and makes it hard on the next pastor. Many hurts, suspicions, and inhibitions remain in the people, all of which the next pastor must face. That's one of the reasons I said that the current condition of a church, for the better or the worse, is not always the product of its current leadership. If a church leader, especially a pastor, is to survive, let alone lead people to prosperity in the Lord, he must learn to get along with the majority of the people. Forgiveness Essential to getting along with people is forgiveness. I'm talking about true, genuine, real forgiveness, not the "nasty nice" smear-on, surface variety where the formal letter of the law has been met, but where all parties concerned know the hearts are not truly together. I'm talking about the genuine forgiveness of the Bible where issues are resolved, not just swept "under the rug." Forgiveness is the only way to get over the differences, offenses, and disappointments which are sure to come. Without forgiveness alienation occurs and continues. Without forgiveness brethren draw back form each other, not together, and it can last for years to come. Every church leader is going to face conflicts with the people. Those conflicts can be the beginning of the end, or they can be resolved. Reconciliation and forgiveness determine which way it will be. Without forgiveness, there's first an alienation with this member, then another. Like a growing cancer, the alienation grows until at some point, the majority of the church is alienated, or gone. In either case, the church is hurting and prosperity is gone. No wonder Ephesians 4:32 says, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." Colossians 3:12-13 pleads, "Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." Forgiveness, folks. It's the eraser of spiritual hurts and offenses. It's the way to put things behind you that would otherwise fester and turn sore. It's the way church leaders can keep in harmony with the majority of the people. Learning to get along with people, and the act of forgiving, doesn't mean you are in full agreement with the other person. It simply means a person doesn't have to be your enemy just because you don't see eye to eye on every point or detail. Taking up an offence and making an issue out of it is what causes the division and drives away peace and harmony. It's that inability to forgive and get it "out of your craw" that causes the alienation, and often the following resentment, bitterness, and even hatred. Church leaders must learn to disagree agreeably. They must learn to tolerate some opinions that are not the same as their own. They don't have to compromise one single conviction, but they do have to give others a little room to see things a little differently. They must learn to tolerate weaknesses in others. People are going to make mistakes. They're going to say things they shouldn't. They're going to "drop the ball." They're going to stick their noses into things that aren't their business. If a church leader sees himself as the "sheriff" who must "make something out of it" every time a member fouls up, he won't be able to get along with anybody for very long. Tolerance is forbearance or longsuffering. Successful church leaders have learned to "let some things fall." They don't take up every issue. Solomon advised, "Also take no heed unto all words that are spoken; lest thou hear thy servant curse thee: For oftentimes also thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise hast cursed others," in Ecclesiastes 7:21-22. Many jabs and injustices, they just let pass. Solomon wisely observed, "When a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him," in Proverbs 16:7. Handling thorny and potentially explosive matters without offence and alienation of people requires lots of wisdom, but Solomon also said, "He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good," in Proverbs 16:20. Let every church leader take heed. Watch what you say and how you say it. Be wise enough not to push an issue too far at the wrong time. In Ecclesiastes 3, Solomon said there's a time and a place for everything, including, "a time to keep silence, and a time to speak," in verse 7. When you speak, Paul said, "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man," in Colossians 4:6. Another word for it is "tact." Don't act like a "a bull in a china closet." Be careful with your words and your deeds. Flexibility Getting along with people requires being flexible. No one can be always so stiff, set in his way, and sure he's right on everything and get along with a church. Good leaders learn to "roll with the punches." They stay soft, pliable, and reasonable. They're pragmatic. They learn to discuss things and reason with people. They know the art of give and take. They never let anything get in their system, and become an impasse to them. They have convictions, but they've learned they can be true to their convictions, yet maintain lots of room for application of these convictions. They don't go into matters with their minds already fully made up. They're open. Listening They listen and watch. This tells them where others are, and how to avoid confrontations and offenses, and their resulting divisions. The ability to live peaceably with all men, especially your church people, is a great asset. It's a marked difference in many church leaders, and is another reason why some churches prosper while others don't. "It Does Make a Difference What You Believe" www.STEVEDAVIS.ORG FREE Podcast \| Constitution & Bylaws YOU need! \| Contact All images & content are subject to copyright SteveDavis.org TM	Home Your Tough Questions Answered Leadership Challenges, Skills & Tips Ministry & Church Government The Constitution & Bylaws You Need! Get Them Organizing & Functioning Leadership in The Lord's Churches Who is Dr. Steve Davis? Dr. Steve Davis in the News CDs, DVDs, eBooks & Merchandise FREE Podcast! Links