Looking the Part, Part 2 - More than outward appearance

Q. "I read what you say from time to time about a Pastor “dressing the part.” It sounds to me like you put too much emphasis on externals sometimes. I don’t think of Jesus as dressing fancy. Just a simple robe. Don’t you think you push it too far? Some of us are more scholarly, (I have a Ph. D.) and as such, we don’t like to dress up. We are comfortable in maybe an old pair of loafers and a worn sweater. You seem to have a problem with that.  After all, some of us still go by the verse, "Man looketh at the outward appearance, but God looketh at the heart.""

A. I understand where you’re coming from, I really do! I ruined more early ministry opportunities because I refused to dress appropriately! I know that the right clothes can’t give you open doors, but the wrong ones sure can close them! 

Starting with the last part of your question, the verse about man looking at the outward appearance but God looking at the heart, you're right. That's why, when you're dealing with man, you have to pay attention to the outward appearance. When you're dealing with God, you have to pay attention to your heart.

When I talk about dressing well, what I am saying is that we need to understand how people see things, and we need to recognize how they interpret some things.  

Most people prefer to deal with honest people over dishonest people. Does a man with greased back hair, and wearing a black shirt, white tie, black leather hipster jacket, sunglasses, gold chains, five rings and white loafers appear to be honest? Then don't dress like that.  

Also, recognize that an honest person is rarely perceived at being on the cutting edge of fashion. Why? Because it makes him seem easily influenced and a bit easily swayed.  

People see honesty as being durable, straightforward and stable. This is why upper middle class clothing styles tend to be middle of the road and conservative. It seems enduring and stable. We want to avoid extremes of clothing and appearance at all cost. If there is going to be an offense, let it be the offense of the gospel, not of my sense of fashion. 

It’s also important for a Pastor (or any leader for that matter) to learn and practice good etiquette. Learn which fork to use, and how to hold it. It communicates that you sincerely care about how other people feel.  

Everything you own and do, say something about you. Your office, desk, pictures and certificates on the wall, and accessories need to say "solid, durable, honest, trustworthy." This includes your car, your home, your watch, your belt, your attaché case, your pen. Everything. 

For example, I really enjoy cars. I used to customize cars for a living. I have a handful of really exciting ones – at least to ME they’re exciting. But I don’t drive them for ministry, for funerals or for the Chaplaincy work that I do for the Department of Justice. I have a lowered black  Silverado pickup with silver tribal flames, and a host of modifications. I have a red 1965 Corvette that I have owned for more than 20 years, It’s very fast, and very sharp looking, But I don’t drive these for ministry. These are for “fun.” I have a couple of other fun cars, too.

But for MINISTRY, I drive a black Lincoln. Or, my wife’s black Chevrolet conversion van. These say, “practical, stable, trustworthy, and maybe, effective.” 

We live in a historical house built in 1723. It is of course, very traditional, stable, and is not filled with the newest gadgets. Same principle. 

Now, sometimes you need to "downscale" your image and income - to appear less threatening and imposing. Downplay the value of some of your possessions and downplay some of your accomplishments when around people who would not relate to them. 

NEVER, ever manipulate your image upward. Never attempt to look more wealthy than you are! Avoid fake Rolex watches, shiny suits, and other “bling bling” like the plague!!! A person who has the genuine article can spot a phony a mile off, and will not respect you if you try to deceive people!!! I was sitting in a meeting next to a well known Christian leader, and I noticed that his fake Rolex wasn’t working. I casually asked him later what the time was. Without even glancing at his watch, he said, “I don’t know,” and asked his wife, who looked at her fake designer watch and told me the right time. He KNEW his fake Rolex wasn’t working, and wore it anyway!  

Being conservative, yet successful can never be held against you. Having too much gold, jewelry, marble and opulence can and will be seen as self centered, carnal, worldly, vain and self serving. On the other hand, developing an image of not caring much for high society or material wealth, and never compromising your integrity will actually give you more open doors in high society and increase your wealth. The truly powerful individual can turn up his nose at what other people are grasping for. 

NEVER appear "too smart." We’re in a day where preachers who don’t even have high school diplomas want to be called “Doctor,” or “Bishop.” People don't want to help intellectuals. They like leaders who are “men of the people.” Don't push the Ph.D. Keep it as a concealed weapon, and use it when necessary – if it’s an earned one. Homespun wins over phony every time.  

Be consistent. Unpredictable people undermine their own influence. Your message MUST be consistent with your style. Even in private. You are "on" 24/7. Develop a continuous style and message in everything you do, in everyplace you are heard, and in everything you write. 

A lot of this info came from personal mistakes and from Robert Dillenschneider’s book, Power and influence, I think.

Copyright Steven L. Davis  www.SteveDavis.org